🍛 Why Your Salary Disappears Faster Than Free Samosas in Office 🍛
💰 Let’s be honest: you checked your bank balance this morning, and it looked healthy. Then you blinked. You bought a coffee, paid for Netflix, and suddenly your money pulled a Houdini. It’s the same mystery that happens whenever a box of free samosas appears in the office pantry — one minute they’re there, the next minute only crumbs and guilt remain.
Gather around, young padawan of personal finance. Today we’ll dissect the phenomenon of evaporating earnings with the precision of a forensic accountant who also loves spicy potato filling. By the end, you’ll understand why your wallet looks like it went through a paper shredder — and how to stop the bleed.
Chapter 1 The Samosa Analogy 🥟
Imagine: It’s 3:45 PM on a Wednesday. You’re deep in Excel hell. Suddenly, an email with the subject “Treats in the breakout area!” arrives. You sprint like an Olympian. But alas — by the time you reach, the tray holds nothing but a single, lonely leaf of coriander and a splotch of tamarind sauce. That’s your salary on the 5th of every month.
You get paid. Rent takes a big, crunchy bite. Your EMIs swoop in like that colleague who grabs three samosas at once. Subscriptions nibble away. And just like that — zero balance, existential dread. It’s not a spending problem; it’s a speed-of-light disappearance act.
🥲 The UPI Tap Epidemic
Remember when paying meant handing over notes and feeling a pang of loss? Now, we just tap our phones like wizards. “5 rupees for a cutting chai? Tap. 400 for Zomato? Tap. 2000 for a ‘minimalist’ kurta? Tap.” By the time you realise, you’ve spent the equivalent of a week’s grocery on things you forgot five minutes later. It’s like eating samosas mindlessly while scrolling reels — they just vanish.
Chapter 2 The Great Indian Monthly Expense Festival
If your salary were a samosa, it would be the one with the spiciest, most expensive filling. Let’s break down where it goes (warning: may cause palpitations).
- 🏠 Rent/EMI: The biggest samosa snatcher. It’s like the boss who takes half the tray home.
- 🚗 Fuel / Commute: You pay to reach work so you can earn money to pay for commuting. Loop infinite.
- 📱 Subscriptions: Netflix, Prime, Hotstar, Spotify, Zee5, SonyLiv, Disney+… you’re basically funding the entire entertainment industry. Do you even have time to watch? That’s 10 samosas right there.
- 🥡 Food delivery: You pay platform fees, delivery fees, surge fees, packaging fees — for food that arrives cold. Congratulations, you overpaid for sadness.
- 💳 Credit card bill: Ah, past you bought some ‘future you’ problems. That dinner from two months ago finally arrives to haunt you.
Chapter 3 The Psychology of the Empty Tray
Why do free samosas vanish? Scarcity mentality. “They’re free, they’re limited, GRAB.” Same with your salary. We see money in the account and our brain screams: “Unlimited! Spend! Fear of missing out on that 80% off sale!” But that’s the trap. The samosa is not infinite. Your salary is not infinite. But the office freeloader who takes four samosas “for later” definitely exists, and his name is Interest Payments.
Plus, there’s the ‘latte factor’ (or ‘samosa factor’). That daily ₹50 snack + ₹200 swiggy + ₹20 chai + ₹100 petrol = poof. Month-end you’re eating plain rice and crying into your palm.
🧠 The Mental Accounting Mishap
We treat money differently depending where it came from. “Oh, it’s a bonus! Let’s blow it on a new phone!” “Oh, tax refund — party!” But money is money. A samosa is a samosa. Whether you stole it from the boss’s private stash or found it under the fridge — it’s still fried dough. Don’t treat extra cash like it’s calorie-free.
Chapter 4 Saving: The Art of Hiding Samosas from Yourself
How do you save a samosa from the office vultures? You hide it. You wrap it in a napkin and stash it in your drawer. Salary works the same way. Before the EMIs, rent, and Zomato grabs it, hide a portion. Automate your savings. On salary day, move 20% to a separate account — a place so secret, even you forget the password. That’s your ‘tiffin-break samosa’ for later years.
🔥 The Samosa Savings Rule 🔥
50% Needs: Rent, groceries, EMI (essential samosas).
30% Wants: Netflix, dining out, fancy chai (the extra crispy samosas).
20% Savings: The samosa you wrap in a napkin and hide for a rainy day.
But remember, if you don't hide the 20% first — it WILL get eaten by UPI monsters.
Chapter 5 The Guilt Factor and the Post-Spending Void
After you finish the last samosa, there’s always a moment of silence. “Did I really need that fourth one?” Similarly, after a salary blowout, we feel the ‘expense hangover’. You look at your wardrobe full of unworn clothes and your empty pantry. You realize you’ve traded your future security for a dopamine hit that lasted as long as a snap. But fear not — self-awareness is the first chutney to fiscal responsibility.
Start by tracking expenses. Use an app, a diary, or an ancient ledger. Be the person who notes, “I spent ₹500 on samosa-ish things today.” It’s uncomfortable, like seeing the samosa tray from the back of the queue — but it helps you learn to sprint at the right time.
Chapter 6 How to Become the Office Samosa Lakhpati
We’ve all seen that one colleague — he somehow always gets a samosa. He’s calm. He waits. He doesn’t rush, yet he ends up with two samosas and all the chutney. That colleague is your financially independent friend. He has an emergency fund. He invests. He doesn’t panic when the pantry runs out because he brought his own snack. Be that guy.
Invest early. Even if it’s just a small SIP. Compound interest is like a samosa that multiplies in your drawer over time — it sounds impossible, but it’s magic. The earlier you start, the more samosas future you will have. You’ll be the one handing out free snacks to the newbies, smiling like a sage.
✅ Handy Checklist for Next Salary Day
- 📌 On salary day: transfer 20% to a savings/investment account BEFORE anything else.
- 📌 Unsubscribe from 3 services you forgot you had. (Do you really need that many OTTs?)
- 📌 Limit UPI taps: put a weekly spend cap. Make it annoying to overspend.
- 📌 Carry a water bottle and snack — avoid the ‘3 PM hangry spends’.
- 📌 Remember: every ₹100 saved today = 4 samosas you can enjoy in retirement.
We started this journey with a pile of golden, crispy salary samosas. Then life happened. But now you know the tricks: hide some immediately, don’t grab everything at once, and invest in the ones that give long-term satisfaction, not just the fleeting crunch. Next time you see a tray of free samosas, think of your bank balance. Take one, savor it, and leave some for later. Your future self — sitting on a beach with actual financial peace — will thank you.
And if all else fails, just remember: a budget is just a list of things you can say 'no' to, so you can say 'hell yes' to your dreams. Now, go forth and protect your samosas. 🥟🚀